Fourth year!

Yesterday was the first day of my final (and most important) year of university. I have been so excited to get back into the swing of things but there is one thing that has been stressing me out; the dreaded dissertation.

At the moment, I have a good idea of what I need to do and although I have done some research during my summer I feel like I still have so much to do. By November 14th, I must have a final title and structure. This doesn't feel that far away at all even though I have roughly six weeks. I am lacking in motivation. I have a lot of enthusiasm for the subjects I have taken and can't wait to get my teeth into those but the dissertation really is holding me back. Even choosing a topic I find interesting and exciting isn't helping me to get started properly.

Today, I cleared my desk - bought to increase productivity and motivation - hung up some clothes to clear my room of clutter, and started listening to Andrew Johnson's Beat Procrastination meditation/hypnosis app. I previously listened to the Exam Preparation app before exams last May and I thought it helped a lot so fingers crossed this makes me more productive and stops me from putting things off. All it needs is one listen everyday for three weeks to start seeing results. I really hope it works because nothing else seems to be getting me out of this!

Another issue I have with writing a dissertation is even at 23 and after three years of university, I don't feel ready or prepared or smart enough to write something this important. Not even the idea that people are graduating at 20/21/22 having written their dissertations is making me feel like I can do this. It has got to the point where I'm considering whether doing my honours year is worth it, am I really suited to academic life? This fear needs to go. I need to just sit down and get it all done. Even an hour every day or two on my dissertation should make me feel better but what if it doesn't? STOP THIS NEGATIVE THINKING!

Any advice from those in the same boat or who have graduated having written their dissertation and going through the fear would be much appreciated! Time to get my head down and start reading again now that I've got this off my chest... Wish me luck!

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